Rei in wonderland
by Fury Cutter
Summary: One day Shinji gives Rei a present which proves to be more absorbing then it appears. During an Angel attack Rei is knocked out and wakes up in the upside down inside out world of Wonderland. Will she survive?
1. Walking home

_Neon Genesis Evangelion_

Rei in Wonderland

Chapter 1

It was yet another boring day in Tokyo 3, the morning had been boring with the usual morning routine before heading off to school with a certain red headed German girl snapping at his heels ("She said it's her time of the month, what's her excuse the rest of the time"), school had been boring with him nearly falling asleep twice and now the rest of the afternoon and this evening would be just be as mind numbingly boring as the rest of the day, yet oddly enough Shinji liked these time the calm before the inevitable storm of the next Angel attack and he'd have one more shot at having his wish granted.

On the way home he passed the book shop that been there for as long as he could remember and had stood there well before he came to this god forsaken hellhole, written on the window in white large letters were the words 'CLOSING DOWN EVERYTHING 4 SALE CHEAP', for along time Shinji had been meaning to go inside but always put it off and now it was closing down.

Deciding it was now or not at all he to headed inside. Inside was a fair sized dimly lit room with packed book shelves lined up to the ceiling and bin's filled with books, behind the counter was man who looked like he was in his mid fifties who Shinji assumed was the owner, the books on the shelves were around 200 yen each but the ones in the bins were 50 yen each "bargain" he thought but as he rummaged through them he began to see why they were this cheap, they were older books and some weren't in the best condition but this didn't seem to put him off, at first he figured he'd find something for himself, something to read before going to sleep before he pulled out something 'Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll' it said on the front.

At first Shinji was going to toss back when he suddenly thought of fellow Eva pilot Rei Ayanami, some little voice told him that this is something that Rei would enjoy so he decide what the hell and decided to get it along with a couple of books he'd bought for himself, one wascalled The Hitchhikers Guild to the Galaxy by a guy called Doug Adams, The Hobbit, The Silmarillion & the complete Lord of the Rings trilogy by J.R.R. Tolkien. Shinji put his items on the counter

"Ah, some very good choices young sir"

"Thanks" Shinji replied before asking "why are you closing down anyway"

"Well it's the fact that this city isn't safe anymore, not with all these Angel attack"

Shinji could relate if he didn't have to pilot Eva he'd be out of this city like a bat out of hell

"It breaks my heart to close the place down. I inherited this place from my mother when she passed away but like I said the place isn't safe anymore"

"I'm sorry" Shinji said sincerely

"Yeah well don't about me" said the shop keeper "maybe when it's all over I'll be able to open up again"

"I hope so" said Shinji as he paid the man 350 yen.

Once he was home Shinji headed to his room, after he closed the door behind him and chucked his school bag into the corner of the room he flopped down on his bed, after a bit he sat up and pulled out the copy of Alice in Wonderland out of the plastic bag which sat next to the bed, after quickly flicking threw it he thought of how he'd give it to Rei

_'I'll give this to Rei after our sync test tomorrow'_ he thought he then put it back in the plastic bag and pulled out his copy of the 'Hobbit' and began to read

"In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit. ..."

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Well that was my first chapter so please reviwe but please try to be gentle. Evangelion is owned by Ganax and Alice in Wonderland belongs to who ever the publishing company is, I on the other hand don't own anything, hellI don't even own the computer I'm working on. One last thing I've never actually read Alice in Wonderland so if anyone who has could get in touch and give me an overview would be greatly apprenticed but I have seen the Disney verison so it's probley going to be closer to that. Laters. 


	2. The book

_Neon Genesis Evangelion_

Rei in Wonderland

Chapter 2

The sync test had gone was well as expected, Shinji's sync ratio had even increased by 3 since last time but Asuka and Rei still out performed him by a good margin.

After the test's and he then changed out of his o f his plug suit (which in his opinion could easily double up as S&M bondage gear), showered, dried himself off and changed into his clothes, it was then he noticed the calendar on the wall which had all test dates marked down on it he then noticed the date all the pilots hated (well he and Asuka did, if Rei did as well she was good at hiding it).

Once a month all three Eva pilots would spend the morning wearing humiliating 'backless' surgical gowns

(_'Backless, why backless, when were Ritsuko or any of the medical staff ever in a rush to see my ass '_)

they would then give various body fluids followed by twelve inoculation jabs to protect the pilots from the effects of long term espouser to the LCL after which his right arm and left buttock would compete for the title of 'Most Painful Appendage' and best of all he wouldn't be able to sit down for the rest of the day.

Whilst reaching for his bag Shinji remembered the book for Rei looking at the flimsy curtain that separated him from the girls he could see that both Asuka and Rei had left so he decided to look for her.

After an hour in which he'd searched most of NERV H.Q. Shinji gave up, the only place he could now think to look was his father's office and there was no way in hell was he going in there.

Giving up he came to the conclusion he'd see her at school tomorrow so decided he'd give to her then and he headed for the home, he'd just turned a corner when he bumped into the very person he wanted to see 'head first'. After they'd picked themselves off the ground there was a moment of silence with the two of the just staring at each other

"Uh ... err ... Rei I'm sorry ..." Shinji started but stopped when Rei turned on her heel and began to walk away from him and Shinji just stood there gaping when the thought of the book came back full force like a kick to his head

"Hey Ayanami wait up" he said as he gave chase Rei stopped and looked over her shoulder

"What" she said Shinji dug deep into his bag and produced the leather bound book and handed it to her

"I...I was in this book shop yesterday and saw this ...and I ... thought you ... er might enjoy it" Shinji blurted, Rei took the book from Shinji's hands and stared at it

"I don't know what to do or say" she said in her usual flat tone but a slight blush had appeared across her face

"Well when someone gives you something it's polite to say thank you " Shinji suggested there was another moment of awkward silence then Rei looked at Shinji

"T...thank you Ikari" she said in a small voice and a small smile appeared on her face.

Shinji was a little taken aback by this he tried to say something when the ultimate mood killer rounded the corner

"There you are you dork" Asuka snapped "We were supposed to meet Misato after the test, where the hell have you been"

"Sorry Asuka" Shinji said _'And thanks for ruining the moment' _

"Lets go" Asuka fumed

"Yes mom" Shinji sarcastically before looking over his shoulder once more to look at Rei "See you tomorrow Ayanami" then continued to follow his roommate, Rei just stood there, she ran her hand over the leather cover

_'What are these feelings I have when he's around' _she was then taken aback to just after the defeat of the fifth Angel codenamed Ramiel when Shinji rescued her when he opened the entry plug emergency release hatch with his bear hands, at first this confused her because he wasn't ordered to do it and he'd been truly worried about her at first she'd thought of him as an interloper, just another pilot but then he saved her life and later she'd learn he's disobeyed orders to rescue Asuka, the second child after the defeat of the eighth Angel codenamed Sandalphon even though she was rude and cruel to him now she didn't know how to act around him.

Deciding to shelves these thoughts Rei put the book in her school bag and headed for home.

It was nearly 9:00 by the time Rei was ready for bed that night, she laid back, pulled the cover's over her and closed her eyes but couldn't drop off to sleep, after five minutes of being unsuccessful she got up again, looking around her dingy little room her eyes rested on her school bag, walking over to it she opened it and pulled out the book Shinji had given her, sitting on her bed she began to read the first page.

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Well this is my second chapter. Please review because I need the input of others to continue. This chapter was going to be longer, it was going to contain an Angel attack and finish with Rei waking up in wonderland but I ran out of ideas of how it would flow. I don't own anything. Please keep reviewing and I'll get to work on chapter 3 ASAP. Peace. 


	3. The Angel cometh

A.N. Ok a quick warning, the battle in this chapter can be a little difficult to keep track of as it keeps switching from the battlefield, Central Dogma and the diffrent Eva's please try and bear with it. Just so you know > this means that someone is speaking over the comm.. Enjoy_

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Neon Genesis Evangelion

Rei in Wonderland

Chapter 3

It had been a week since Shinji gave that book to Rei and it was now 'the day', Misato had brought Shinji and Asuka into headquarters at 8:00 that morning and now they were sitting outside Ritsuko's office in 'backless' surgical gowns ready for a morning of being probed and prodded, Rei was sitting to his right still reading the book. Like she could sense his stare she looked up from the pages and looked at him

"I see your still reading it" he said "I … I've not read it myself" is it any good"

"Yes it is very enjoyable pilot Ikari"

"What are you two talking about" Asuka inquired. Before Shinji could answer the door of Ritsuko's office and the lady herself appeared in the doorway

"Alright who's first" looking down at the list "Shinji please follow me"

Shinji sighed and got up off his chair when like an act of God the klaxon signalling an Angel attack rang through the complex

"Looks like you three are off the hook" Ritsuko said "but I want all three of you back here to do these tests as soon as the battles over"

"Yes Ma'am" the three pilots said and the four of them went their separate way's the pilot's to change into their plugsuits and the good doctor to the Command centre.

Ten minutes later all three Eva's were awaiting their opponent, Unit 1 armed with a spear took the point whilst Unit 2 armed with a pellet rifle provided support and Unit 0 covered them with a sniper's rifle, on the bridge Misato, Ritsuko, Commander Ikari and all other relevant personal were also waiting with baited breath.

"Which one will it be this time" Vice Commander Fuyutsuki asked his superior and long term collaborator

"If our intelligence is correct the voice of God Metatron" Gendo said in his usual cold tone.

Out on the battlefield the three pilots waited as over the mountain it came

Oh my God> Asuka's voice came over the comm, Shinji couldn't agree more the monstrosity in front of him had eight legs, it's body like a raised serpent, on the end of each of it's four arm's was a hand with four fingers each equipped with scythe like claws which looked like they could tear through an Eva easily and if they didn't the teeth in each of it's two maw's on it's head (if you could call it a head) would crush them and finally there was it's tail with five very large spikes on it making an attack from behind impossible

"Is it just me or do these thing either get weirder or in this case uglier" he asked to no one in particular "so what does that thing do anyway"

Do you really want to know the answer> said Misato's voice over the comm. Shinji took another look at the Angel which was only a few hundred feet away now

"Now that I think about it not really"

Well Shinji-boy, you or Wondergirl got any bright ideas> said Asuka

"Well my next move will most likely to soil my self, and depending on how that goes I'll regroup and come up with another plan but if anyone's got any suggestions please don't hold back",

The core> said a voice causing everyone to jump it was Rei the core is exposed>

looking at the creatures body Shinji saw a large crimson orb place just above where the creatures front legs connected with it's body

Asuka shoot at it's core>

"Yes Ma'am" Asuka replied as she fired her gun at the creatures core

"This one's over before it even got started" Asuka said smugly.

Back on the bridge they watched the action unfold on the over sized monitor

"Hey check this out" Aoba said "It's not even raising an A.T. field"

_'He's right it isn't' _Misato thought _'but why' _she'd soon get her answer as they watched each bullet bounce off the Angels core

"That's why it didn't raise its A.T. field" Fuyutsuki said "it doesn't need one"

"Yes this makes it all the more interesting" Gendo replied with a smirk hidden behind his hands. Back on the battlefield the three pilots stared in disbelief at what had just happened

What, it had no effect> said Asuka

Rei> said Misato you give it a try>

"Yes Ma'am" Rei replied before lining up the Angels core and then Unit 0 fired, once again the Angel didn't raise it's A.T. field and once again the projectile bounced off it's core and now it was too late, the Angel was among them.

It swung one of its four arms at Units 1 and 2, Shinji managed to duck out of the way but Asuka wasn't so lucky and the force of the blow sent her flying into one of the buildings reducing it to rubble, the Angel then turned its attention back to Unit 1.

"OH MY GOD, WHAT'S UNIT 2 STATUS" Misato yelled

"THE UNBILICAL CABLE HAS BEEN SEVERED, THE EVA NOW HAS SIXTY SECONDS OF BACKUP POWER" Aoba replied frantically

"WHAT'S THE PILOTS CONDITION" Misato inquired

"UNKNOWN, SHE'S GONE I'M NOT RESIVING ANYTHING FROM THE PLUG" Maya Informed her

"OH GREAT, REI GET UNIT 2 TO THE NEAREST CATAPULT, GET A MEDICAL TEAM DOWN TO THE CAGE"

Affirmative> Rei said over the comm.,

having resized her orders Rei abandoned her position to get Unit 2 to clear whilst Unit 1 tried to hold the Angel at bay, Shinji knew he couldn't beat the Angel by himself but he could buy Rei some time to get Asuka to safety,

using his spear he tried to penetrate the Angels chest but it's armour was to thick then using one hand the Angel known as Metatron knocked the spear out of the Eva's hands before grabbing it and raised it to it's deformed head digging it's scythe like claws into it's body causing Shinji to yell out in pain.

Opening one eye, Shinji looked at the monster's face and he was sure even through his eye's were watering badly that both the creature's teeth lined jaws were twisted into a sick, twisted, sadic smile, the Angel then clamped it's lower jaws into the Eva's shoulder causing a horrible sound of metal buckling, twisting, braking this combined with the cry's of pain coming from both the Eva and it's pilot, the agony so great Shinji almost passed out and had to fight to keep himself from losing consciousness and during all this all Rei could do was watch.

Having dropped Unit 2 off at the catapult she'd turned her attention back to the battle all of a sudden Rei felt a rush of emotion Anger, Hate, Loathing, she didn't know where these emotions came from and she didn't care watching the Angel hurt Shinji made Rei sick to her stomach, she rushed towards her sniper's rifle and fired a shot at the creatures head which exploded on contact, the Angel released its jaws from Unit one's shoulder causing large amount of the Eva's 'blood' to gush from the wound and looked straight ahead at the cycloptic Unit 0,

a feral growl passed Rei's lips as she fired another shot at it's deformed head followed by another explosion, the Angel roared in anger it tossed Unit 1 aside it then leapt into the air and landed in front of Unit 0, bring one of it's arms down it sliced Rei's weapon into bit's with it's claws before grabbing the 0 by the legs and started to smashing it into buildings before grabbing it by the head and slamming it into the ground. Rei somehow found enough strength to look at the Angel, it had opened its bottom maw and it started glowing, before she could react a fiery column in the shape of a cross made contact causing her to smash through several building before slamming to another reducing it to ruin,

a few seconds later the Angel appeared climbing over the debris before scuttling towards the 0, the Angel then raised the Unit 0 to it's head like it did with Unit 1 and once again the bottom mouth began glowing _'_

_this is the end'_ Rei thought to her self as she prepared herself for inevitable death, the blast shot from the creatures mouth and then everything in Rei's world turned to darkness.

"Hello, hello please don't be dead"

Rei opened her eyes but her vision was blurred

_'I'm still alive' _

"Your awake, that's good I was worried there for a second" said a voice which was familiar to her,

Rei closed her eyes and rubbed them before opening them again, as her vision cleared she saw the face of this stranger and found herself staring into a pair of deep blue eye's and she realised she knew this person

"Pilot Ikari"!

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Well there's my third chapter I just hope the battle with the Angel wasn't to disappointing. Please tell me what you think as all comments are welcome. From here the story is inspired by Alice in Wonderland but as I've not read it and getting hold of a copy is proving to be a real bitch the rest of the story is going to take longer to do. Evangelion is owned by Gainix and Alice in Wonderland is owned by the Publisher. Will try and get started on next chapter A.S.A.P. Peace. 


	4. Down the rabbit hole

A.N. "Blah"- Normal speech  
_'Blah'- _Thoughts_

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Neon Genesis Evangelion  
Rei Wonderland  
Proof read by Katherine Hockey

Chapter 4: Down the rabbit hole

"Hello?" An intrusive voice asked, sounding bizarre and unusual to the weary girl. "Hello?" Something nudged her painfully in the ribs, "Please don't be dead..."

Finally, Rei forced open her heavy eyelids, the girl's short, colourless lashes parting grudgingly. The world was covered with a thin film that blurred her sight, rounding the edges and obscuring the details of anything she turned her gaze onto. One thought echoed over and over, chaotic through her normally lucid mind.

'I'm still alive.'

"You're awake!" The voice gasped exuberantly, with what seemed like a faint sigh of relief. "I was worried there, for a second." Why was the voice so familiar?

Rei wondered, allowing her eyes to close. She lifted a hand to rub at the soft flesh at the corners of her eyelids, before slowly blinking open her eyes again.

After her vision cleared, she began to see the face of the stranger and, quite suddenly, she was staring into a pair of very familiar sapphire eyes.

"Pilot Ikari." Her voice came out, hoarse from disuse, in a slightly breathless whisper.

"Pilot Ikari?" The stranger parroted in surprise. "Sorry, but I'm afraid you are mistaken, miss."

"No, I'm not." Rei insisted firmly as she forced herself into a sitting position, lying her palms flat, fingers splayed, against the ground for support. "You are Shinji Ikari, operative of the UN agency NERV. You are the Third Child, designated pilot of the Evangelion Unit-01, son of Gendo and Yui Ikari. You live in Tokyo-3, with Major Misato Katsuragi and Asuka Langley Sohryu, the Second Child, designated pilot of the Evangelion Unit-02."

"Well," The stranger blinked slowly as he examined her, then flashed her a quick smile, face lighting with inner warmth. "That's an impressive little speech, but you must be thinking of someone else." He offered her a hand, and Rei uncertainly accepted it, using him as a brace to climb to her feet. "I'm called the White Rabbit."

Rei studied 'Shinji' and realized, abruptly, that he looked different. His hair, once a rich brown, the colour of cooled caramel, was now a shock of ivory, with rabbit's ears poking out the top of his head at slightly askew angles. He was clad in his traditional school uniform, but also with a checked velvet waistcoat thrown over the top of it.

He reached into the small pocket, retrieving a gilded pocket watch. As he read the time, his russet eyebrows furrowed in anxiety.

"Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear." He mumbled like a mantra, as he hastily shoved the watch back into his jacket. "I must go now, or I shall be late." He glanced at Rei, sketching a rough, half-bow. "I'm sorry, miss, but I must go or I shall be late and that would never do."

He sprinted off down a passageway, leaving a somewhat startled Rei behind. Unsure of what to do, Rei took off after him.

"Pilot Ikari! Where are you?" she cried out in desperation.

Either 'Shinji' could not hear her or did not care because the blue-haired girl received no reply. After running down the long, narrow passageway for roughly three or four minutes, 'Shinji' had come back into view. Rei picked up the pace when suddenly the boy disappeared. She sprinted to the point that 'Shinji' had disappeared. Suddenly, her footing was lost on something... and she was falling into darkness.

Rei was confused. It seemed as if she had been falling for a long time, which meant this hole was extremely deep. That or she was falling incredibly slowly, for she had time to glance about. First, she tried to look down and see what was coming. However, it was too dim to see anything.

Looking about her, she saw the sides of the hole were lined with thick, mahogany bookshelves, as well as the occasional, antique-looking map, the borders exaggerated and the parchment worn and yellowed. Every now and then, a picture would appear on the wall, ornately framed, though the sepia photographs were faded and unfocused. On one of the narrow shelves, she spotted a small, ceramic jar and snatched it as she passed. Scanning it, she smoothed the ripped label with her thumb. 'Orange Marmalade.' A small rumble came from Rei's stomach, but, to her disappointment, she found the jar was empty. With a minute frown, she laid it on the nearest empty shelf.

Rei continued to fall, wondering if the bottom would ever come. She stifled a yarn as fatigue embraced her, but to no avail. The motion of her falling ruffled her hair, but, other than that, she had been falling for so long it had become rather comfortable. Eyes closing, she was about to dose off. Thud!

She landed in an ungraceful heap on a pile of half-rotted sticks and decomposing leaves. After taking a moment to rub her backside, she glanced up only to find another endless passage way. 'Shinji' was still in sight hurrying down it. Realizing there wasn't a moment to lose, Rei jumped to her feet and gave chase after him, watching with half-narrowed eyes as he turned a corner.

"Oh my ears and whiskers, how late it is getting!" he marvelled, disappearing from sight.

When Rei rounded the corner, he wasn't there. At the end of the tunnel laid a thick, elaborately carved door. Moved by her inquisitiveness, Rei took hold of the polished brass knob, slowly pushing the door open.

Closing the door after she slipped inside, she found herself inside of a spacious room, which she guessed to be about the same size as Commander Ikari's office. The chamber was lit by ornate lamps hanging from the vaulted ceiling. At least forty doors surrounded the main floor.

Rei, overcome by a sudden feeling of foreboding, tried the door behind her. It had locked behind her. Agitated beneath her calm demeanour, the girl spent the better part of a half-hour trying in vain to open one of the doors.

Giving up, Rei strode back across to the room to try the door she had entered through once more. It was ridiculous to assume it had locked behind her, she mused. Perhaps she'd simply tried the wrong way to open... The door wasn't there anymore

Instead, it had been replaced by a full-length mirror. Rei approached it timidly. Looking into the gold-framed looking glass, shegot a surprise. For the first time since she regained conciseness, she noticed that she was no longer wearing her plug suit. Instead, she was clad in a ruffled, beribboned satin dress. The bell-shaped powder-blue skirt ended just past her knees, revealing starched white stockings. A frilled white apron was tied over the front of the dress. On her feet, she wore a pair of highly-polished black Mary Janes. Uncertainly, she rose a hand to her hair, fingers touching the satin bow carefully. Rei shifted uncomfortably, the tea-length gown swishing around her thin legs. The only things she had ever worn were her school uniform and her NERV issued plug suit.

After examining herself, Rei glimpsed something in the mirrors reflection that had not been there before. Turning on her heel, she crossed to the low, three-legged table, her dress shoes clicking intimidatingly against the wooden floor. Lying on the low table was a small, golden key.

_'This should open one of the doors.'_ Rei thought. Fingers curled tightly around the key, she approached the door closest to her. Then she tried the next one and the next, then the next. Either the locks on the doors were too big or the key was too small. Once again, Rei was about to give up, when she noticed a velvety curtain in the far corner of the room. Drawing the gold tasselled cord back, Rei discovered a small door.

The entryway could have been no higher then fifteen inches tall. Kneeling down, Rei slipped the key in its lock. With a click, it opened. Rei lowered herself until she was flat against the ground, but she really couldn't see anything. 'If I were smaller, I could enter.' Rei's cheeks tinged with pink at the utter absurdity of the childish thought. She got up off the floor and, looking over her shoulder in the direction of the table, she spied a small bottle.

"Drink me," Rei read aloud. "That's odd, this wasn't here before," Rei swiped a piece of silvery-blue hair from her face. "I'd better check to see if it's marked poison."

When she couldn't find any such label, Rei rose the bottle to her lips, and took a sip. Finding it agreeable, she took another sip, and, soon, had drained the bottle. After a few seconds, Rei began to feel that something wasn't right.

"I feel very strange." She noticed that every thing around her was getting large and she was getting closer to the floor.

Soon, she was only ten inches high.

_'Curious,'_ Rei thought. Now, she was small enough to enter the door, so she pushed the thought to the back of her mind.

She was quite out of breath by the time she reached the door - being so small had added to the journey of crossing the room. Rei twisted the handle on the door, but she couldn't get it to budge.

She was wondering why, when the answer hit her like a kick in the head: she'd left the key on the table. Noticing something silvery on the floor, she picked it up.

It was a little tin box, opening it up there was a small cake with the words 'Eat me' written on top. Rei took a few moments to think about whether she should or not when her stomach growled and hunger won out. "I'll eat it." she said, remembering the bottle.

"If eating this makes me grow taller, I can reach the key. And if it makes me grow smaller, I can squeeze under the door." She concluded, though she wasn't initially sure where the thought had come from. She took a small nibble, but nothing seemed to happen.

Figuring she had to eat the whole thing, she put the pastry in her mouth, chewed it and swallowed.

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Well that was the fourth chapter of this story, review it cos I love reading your comments. Also big note of thanks to my proof reader Kathrine. I apologize that I haven't updated in a while but unfortunately my computer contracted a half a ton of viruses and getting it debugged is taking a while so I won't be updating anytime soon. Everyone's favourite anime, Evangelion is owned by Gainax and Alice in Wonderland was written by Lewis Carroll and is owned by whoever the publisher is whilst I on the other hand own squat. I'll get to work on chapter 5 when I get my computer back. Peace.


	5. Pool of tears

A.N.- "Blah"- Normal speech  
_'Blah'- _Thoughts_

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_Neon Genesis Evangelion  
_Rei in Wonderland  
Proof read by Katherine Hockey

Chapter 5: Pool of tears.

Noticing something silvery reflecting the light from the floor, the girl picked it up. It was a small, polished tin box. Opening it, she found a little, round cake with the words 'Eat Me' written on top in scrolling cursive. Rei took a few moments to ponder whether she should or not, when her stomach growled in hunger. Hunger won out.

"If eating this makes me grow taller, I can reach the key. And, if it makes me grow smaller, I can slip beneath the door." She concluded, although she was not initially sure where the thought had come from. She took a small nibble from the edge, yet nothing seemed to happen. Assuming that she had to eat the entire thing, she put the pastry into her mouth, chewed it, and swallowed.

"This feeling is very curious," Rei murmured to herself. As she glanced down at her feet, which were getting further and further away, she suddenly imagined sending a letter to one of her feet. Rei Ayanami's Right Foot. Apartment # 302. Tokyo-3. Had it been anyone else, he or she might have laughed in amusement, but, instead, Rei quickly dismissed the idea as being absurd. She was trying to figure out what to do when her head hit the ceiling.

"Ouch," Rei curled up into a ball, trying to make herself as small as possible, but that only lasted so long. Her head hit against the ceiling again.

"Ow." A small noise caught Rei's attention. Suddenly, looking at the floor, she saw a small – to her anyway – droplet of water on the floor. She searched for a leak in the ceiling, but could not find any. Another drop hit the ground and they started to fall more rapidly. Bringing her fingertips to her cheeks, she felt tears rolling down her cheeks, tracing narrow, damp trails along her porcelain skin.

"I'm crying…why?" She remembered reading that people would sometimes cry when they were hurt and she had hit her head twice. However, this did not make sense to her. She had been injured much worse while piloting Unit-00, and had never shed a tear. Why would she now, over such a minor injury as this? Her cool, reasonable logic did not stem the flow as she kept weeping until there was a fair-sized puddle on the floor. The small pool spanned half the room and was, at least, four inches deep in places. She sat, curled there in the corner, crying, with her knees drawn to her chest until she heard the approach of someone whistling. Hastily wiping her eyes, she tried to see who it was.

It was 'Shinji', dressed rather smartly. Oddly enough, he entered the chamber, with a pair of pristine white kid gloves and a large fan in the other. If there was one thing that Rei was, she was independent. It was not, it had never been, in her nature to ask for help. However, now she was desperate enough to ask for help – not that she knew what this feeling meant.

"Ikari, please help me," she whispered, in a low, timid voice.

'Shinji' jerked in fear, dropping the gloves and sending the fan clattering to the ground as he scurried away from her, into a shadowed corner. Rei's hope – what little there was – sank as she saw the only person who counted as a friend, or at least something, that looked like him, dash off.

With nothing to hold them back, Rei let her tears fall, unchecked. Picking up the gloves and the fan that 'Shinji' had dropped, the girl began fanning herself.

_Why are things like this?'_ She wondered. Her thoughts carried a faint trace of hopelessness. _'Yesterday, everything made sense. Who in the world am I? Did I change during the night? I am sure that I am not Pilot Sorhyu. She has longer hair than I do and she is louder than I am. And I am sure that I am not Doctor Akagi, Major Katsuragi, or Lieutenant Ibuki.'_ She folded her hands in her lap and tried to think of something.

"How doeth the little crocodile improve its shining tail, and pour the waters of the Nile on every shining scale! How cheerful he seems to grin, how neatly spread its claws, and welcomes fishes in, with gently smiling jaws!" She was not entirely sure where the rhyme had come from and was pretty sure that she had not said it right. Tears continued down her cheeks.

_'I wish someone would find me! I am so tired of being alone!'_ She turned her gaze to her hands and discovered that she was wearing one of 'Shinji's' white kid gloves.

_'How can I have done that? Somehow I must have grown small again.'_ Getting to her feet, she walked over to the table to measure herself, and estimated that she was now about two feet tall and still shrinking rapidly. She soon realized that the fan she held was the cause, and dropped it hastily, just in time to save herself from shrinking away altogether.

Getting out of the way, Rei's foot slipped and, in another moment... _splash_! Up to her chin in brackish water, Rei recalled overhearing a conversation about poetic justice. She had not quite understood what it meant until now.

"I wish I hadn't cried so much." She noted to herself as she treaded water, "I suppose it would be ironic if I drowned in a sea of my own tears." Kicking her slender legs, Rei propelled herself through the salty water.

After a few moments, she heard a distant splashing about in the pool. Treading water for a few moments, a largish object came into view. Having never been to a zoo or aquarium in her life, Rei's knowledge of large marine creatures was, admittedly, very limited, but, soon, the creature came into view and she saw it was just a mouse.

"Excuse me," Rei whispered, her voice hardly audible, "Do you know the way out of this pool?" Normally, she would have thought talking to a rodent to be an absurd and illogical thing to do, but, with everything that had happened, she would not be surprised if the creature could talk.

When it did not reply, Rei thought that maybe the mouse did not speak Japanese, but, unfortunately, the pale, waif-like girl did not know any other language, except one line of French and she had no idea what it meant. It was a long shot, but she tried it anyway.

"_Ou est ma chatte?_" The mouse gave a sudden, panicked leap from the water, quivering in fright.

"Cat!" It yelped, small body trembling, "Where is it? Where is the cat?"

"There are no cats around here," Rei said as she made her way towards the panicked rodent.

"No like cats!" The mouse shrilled, "Would you like cats if you were me?" Rei considered the mouse's question for a few seconds, and seemed to find logic in it. She nodded in agreement.

"Are you sure there are no cats around here?" The mouse pressed, "Our family has always hated cats; nasty, vulgar things!"

"I don't know any cats, though Doctor Akagi seems to be fond of them." Rei said softly, "There is a dog that seems to hang around my building. He kills all the rats and vermin." The mouse seemed to panic again and thrashed about, trying to swim away.

' _I suppose it isn't fond of dogs either.' _Rei mused as she swam after it. As she approached, the edge of the water, the area began getting crowded with birds and animals. There was a duck, a dodo, a lorry, an eaglet and several curious creatures.

"This is all very strange," Rei said softly to herself as she climbed onto the bank. "I don't suppose things can get any more strange."

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A.N. Can things get more strange, of course they can. Sorry if Rei seems a little out of chracter but they chapter is called pool of tears so she had to cry. 


	6. Carcus race

AN "Blah"- Normal speech  
_'Blah'_- Thoughts_

* * *

_

_Neon Genesis Evangelion  
_Rei in Wonderland  
Proof read by Katherine Hockey

Chapter 6: A Carcus Race and a Long Tale  
They were indeed a queer-looking party that had assembled upon the bank, birds with draggled feathers, animals with soaked fur clinging to them and all dripping wet, cold and uncomfortable, all debating how they should get dry. Rei found herself sitting beside a waterlogged owl, as the mouse from earlier was addressing the group.

"Sit down all of you, and listen to me! I'll make all dry soon enough!" Rei kept her scarlet eyes fixated on the rodent. Once they were seated in a large ring with the mouse in the middle, it began to speak again with an air of intelligence.

"Are you all ready? This is the driest thing I know. Now, William the conqueror, whose cause was favoured by the pope, was soon submitted by the English, who wanted leaders and had been of late much accustomed to usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, declared for him and Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable…"

"Found what?" A duck asked.

"Found it," The mouse replied, a note of impatience lacing its tone, "surely you must know what it means."

"I happen to know what it means well enough." The duck snapped, "It generally is a frog or a worm. The question is: what did the archbishop find and how does it help us get dry?" The mouse pretended that he had not heard the question, and continued,

"Found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown…"

"Excuse me, but what is the point of this?" A creature in the crowd demanded. "Huh?" The mouse replied, blinking small, bead-like eyes rapidly.

"Well," The animal who had spoken began, "As fascinating as this history lesson is, it doesn't seem to help our situation; does it?"

"What? Aren't you interested in my story?" The mouse turned to Rei, speaking in a sickly-sweet, patronizing tone, "How are you getting on, my dear child? You would love to hear my story, right?"

"Not really," Rei replied in her usual monotone "I'm as wet as ever, and your story doesn't seem to dry me at all."

"In that case, I move that the meeting adjourn for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies…" said a Dodo as it emerged from the crowd.

"Speak clearly!" the eaglet scolded, "I don't know the meaning of half of these long words, and, what's more, I don't believe you either." A small murmur of agreement arose from several of the other birds.

"What I was going to say," the dodo said, sounding offended. "Was that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race."

Rei racked her brains trying to think of what a Caucus-race was but when she could not think of what it was, she asked.

"What's a Caucus-race?"

"Why!" the Dodo exclaimed. "The best way to explain it is to do it." First, the Dodo marked out a circular racecourse, before the creatures were placed at various points around the course. There was no indication of the start of the race; they just started of their own accord, stopping when they felt like it, so it was not easy to tell when the race was over. However, after about half an hour of running about everyone was quite dry.

"The race is over!" the Dodo announced, "But who has won?" It pondered the question for a few minutes, before shouting out, "Everyone! Everyone has won and all must have a prize!"

"But who is to give the prizes?" the mouse asked.

"Why! She will, of course!" The Dodo said, pointing to Rei. In an instant, the creatures all crowded around the azure-haired girl, calling out,

"Prizes, prizes!" Rei was uncertain of what to do. She was pretty sure she did not have anything that she could give away. However, searching through the small pockets of her lace-trimmed apron, she found a small tin of something called Comfits. Removing the lid, she found what appeared to be pieces of dried fruit and seeds coated in sugar and handed them around.

"Wait!" The mouse said loudly. "She must have a prize as well!" Rei looked down into the tin, but found that it was now empty.

"What a pity," The dodo observed, peering over the girl's thin shoulder. "Do you have anything else?"

Quickly rummaging around, she found a small metal object,

"I have this." She stated as she passed it to the dodo.

"Ah, a thimble." the bird said, pulling himself up to a regal stance, as the crowd gathered around them, "We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble." It handed the object back to Rei, who, uncertain, bowed politely and returned the thimble back into her pocket.

The next thing was to eat the sweets Rei had handed out; this, however, caused quiet a lot of noise and some confusion. The larger birds complained that they could not taste theirs and the smaller ones nearly choked on theirs, but, eventually, they had all finished and crowded around the mouse, begging it to tell them another story.

"I know! I'll tell you all the story of my family's history with cats and dogs." The mouse said, turning to Rei, "You would like to hear it, wouldn't you, my dear?" "Not really." Rei replied, but the mouse ignored her and began.

"Fury said to the mouse, that he met in the house "Let us both go to the law, I will prosecute you. Come, I'll take no denial; we must have a trial, for, really, this morning I've nothing to do." said the mouse to the cur…" The mouse and the others were so absorbed in the story they failed to notice Rei walking off.

After some time, Rei halted when she heard a noise. As she looked around, she hoped it was not the mouse come to tell her the rest of its story.

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A.N. Well that was chapters 5 & 6 so please send me your reviews, sorry it took so long to update, I'mtryingto write two chapters at a time as well as including my other projects and it's taking alot out of me. I'm working on chapter 7 right now so I'll try to update again as soon as I can. Peace.


	7. Little Bill

A.N. "Blah"- Normal speech  
_"Blah"_- Thoughts_

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_

_Neon Genesis Evangelion _

Rei Wonderland 

Proof read by Katherine Hockey 

Chapter 7: 'Shinji' Sends in Little Bill  
After some time, Rei halted when she heard a noise. As she looked around, she hoped it was not the mouse come to tell her the rest of its story.

It was 'Shinji,' trotting slowly along the path. He was looking about frantically, as if he had lost something. He was muttering something to himself as he searched,

"The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh, my fur and whiskers! She'll have my head for this, as sure as ferrets are ferrets. Where can I have dropped them?"

Rei stared at him for a moment, before realizing he meant the white gloves and the fan he had dropped back in the room of doors. After a few minutes, 'Shinji' noticed her.

"Mary Ann, what are you doing here?" he cried out, voice laced with a combination of anger and disapproval. "Go home this instant and find me a pair of gloves and a fan; quick now!" Rei stared at him,

"Ikari, who is Mary Ann? I am…" Rei began.

"Silence, child." 'Shinji' interrupted as he grabbed her wrist, dragging her up the flagstone path to a small brick house surrounded by a whitewashed picket fence. "Now go indoors and find my fan and gloves." 'Shinji's' words sounded like an order, and Rei had been brought up to obey orders. She went to the front door, which had a plain brass plate with 'W. Rabbit' engraved upon it.

Upon entering, she quickly headed upstairs, so that she didn't meet the real Mary Ann and be thrown out before she found 'Shinji's' gloves and fan. At the top of the stairs was an uncluttered bedroom with a small, spindly-legged table by the window. On its polished surface, Rei found another fan, and in one of its shallow drawers she found two or three pairs of white gloves. She was about to take these items to 'Shinji' when her eyes fell upon a bottle that stood near the looking glass. This time, there was no label saying 'drink me' but swimming in the pool of tears and the carcus race had left Rei rather parched. She uncorked the bottle and put it to her lips.

_'Every time I eat or drink something here something happens. Maybe if I drink this I'll grow back to my normal size. I'm tired of being small!'_

The drink did effect her and much sooner then she expected. Before she had swallowed half the bottle, she found her head pressed against the ceiling and she had to stoop to save her neck from being broken but she kept growing and growing and very soon had to kneel down on the floor. However, in less than a minute, there was no room to do this. She lay down on the floor with her left elbow jammed against the door and her right arm curled around her head. Still she grew, and, with no other options left to her, she put her right arm out of the window and put one foot in the chimney.

"What can I do now?" she said to herself. "If I keep growing I'll either burst through the walls and destroy Ikari's house or I'll be crushed to death. What will become of me?" Fortunately, the liquid she had ingested had now had its full effect and Rei ceased growing. Still, it was uncomfortable and there was now no hope of her being able to leave the room.

"Mary Ann! Mary Ann!" A voice called, "Fetch my gloves this moment!" The sound of footsteps on the wooden stairs was heard. Rei knew, with a slow, sickening feeling in her stomach, it was 'Shinji' coming to look for her. 'Shinji' opened the door but Rei's elbow was pressed against it so it wouldn't open.

"Fine, then. I'll have to enter by the window." She heard 'Shinji' mutter to himself. A few minutes later, Rei heard 'Shinji' outside just under the window.

Something in the back of her mind told Rei she couldn't be found like this. She stretched her arm out of the window and made a desperate snatch at the air. she didn't get hold of anything but she did hear a small shriek followed by the sound of broken glass.

"Pat, Pat!" 'Shinji' called out in an angry voice, "Where are you?"

"Sure I'm here!" another voice said, "Digging for apples, yer honour!"

_'Digging for apples?' _this statement confused Rei no end, because, though she'd never seen one, she was sure that apples grew on trees.

"Now tell me, Pat," 'Shinji' was saying, "what is that in the window?"

"Sure. It's an arm, yer honour!" Pat replied. "Whoever saw one that size? It fills the whole window!"

"Sure, it does, yer honour, but it's an arm, for all that." "Well it has no business here, go and take it away this instant." There was a very long pause, Rei could only now only hear the odd whisper.

"Sure. I don't like it, yer honour, at all."

"Do as I say, you coward!"

"I wonder what they're going to try!" Rei whispered to herself. "Are they going to try and pull me out of the window? I wish they could! I'm certain I don't want to stay here any longer!" After some time, she heard the sound of a wheelbarrow approaching, and the sound of many voices all talking at once.

"Where's the other ladder?"

"Why, I hadn't thought to bring but one. Bill's got the other one."

"Bill! Fetch it here, lad."

"Here, put 'em up at this corner. No tie 'em together first. They don't reach high enough yet."

"Here, Bill. Catch hold of this rope. Mind that lose slate. It's coming down, heads below!"

"Now who did that?"

"It was Bill, I fancy."

"Who's got to go down the chimney?"

"Nay, I sha'nt. You do it!"

"That I won't, Bill's got to go down."

"Here, Bill. The master says you've got to go down the chimney!"

"So Bill is coming down the chimney, is he." Rei said to herself. It then occured to her that they were giving Bill a lot to do much like Sorhyu and Major Katsuragi when they weren't at NERV. She then drew her foot as far down the chimney as possible and waited.

_'The fireplace is narrow but I should be able to kick a little!'_ When she heard a scrambling sound coming down the chimney and gave a single, sharp kick. The first thing she heard was the sound was the sound of something traveling very quickly up the chimney followed by a chorus from outside.

"There goes Bill!" she heard 'Shinji' say. "Catch him." The command was followed by another confusion of voices. Last came a feeble squeaking which Rei guessed was Bill. "I see no other course of action." 'Shinji' was saying, "We'll have to burn the house down."

In response, Rei stuck her arm out of the window and took a swing, which was followed by several cries of terror.

"I wonder what they'll try next?" Rei said to herself, after a few minutes on silence, "If they had any sense they would take the roof off so I could get out." It was then that she heard the sound of the group outside again.

"A barrowful full should do it." She heard 'Shinji' say.

_'A barrowful of what?'_ her question was then answer as a small shower of small stones came hurtling through the window with the majority of them hitting her. Looking out the window she saw 'Shinji' just as he was launching another pebble and hit her in the head,

"Ow." _'He is not Ikari.'_ Rei thought angrily to herself, _'Ikari would never throw stones at me.'_ Looking down at the floor, she noticed that some of the pebbles that had been thrown at her had turned into small cakes similar to the one she'd eaten in the room of doors,

"If I eat one it may do something about my size. It might make me grow smaller as I can't grow any larger." Rei concluded as she picked one of the cakes off the floor and swallowed it. To her relief, she began shrinking almost immediately.

As soon as she was small enough, she made a break for the door and made her way downstairs and out of the house, though she was quite out of breath by that point. Gathered outside was a small crowd of birds and animals. In the middle of the lawn was a lizard being supported by two guinea pigs who where trying to give it something out of a bottle. Rei sprinted towards a thick forest before the Rabbit and his party noticed she was gone.

"The first thing I have to do is find a way to return to my normal size." Rei said to herself as she wondered around the woods, "Next is to find a way back to that room full of doors." It sounded like a sound plan. However, the only problem was that she had no real clue how to go about it. She was trying to figure out a way to go about her plan when a rustling of the brushes caught her attention.

Making her way through the woods, until she came to a clearing with some large mushrooms growing in it. They were slightly taller then she was and her eyes atop of it caught her attention. Stretching on her tiptoes and peered over the edge of the mushroom and her eyes met with toughs sitting atop of the mushroom.

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A.N. Hi, there's more after these messages. 


	8. Advice from a Caterpillar

AN "Blah"- Normal speech  
_'Blah'_- Thoughts_

* * *

_

_Neon Genesis Evangelion _

Rei Wonderland 

Proof read by Katherine Hockey 

Chapter 8: Advice from a Caterpillar  
Stretching on her tiptoes and peering over the edge of the mushroom, her eyes met with toughs sitting atop of the mushroom. Sitting there was a woman with thick blond hair with a pair of antenna sticking out of her head, wearing wire-rimmed glasses and a pristine white lab coat. A hookah pipe was curled in her hand. She did not take the smallest bit of notice of Rei.

_'Doctor Akagi!'_

Rei and 'Doctor Akagi' stared at each other in silence. Finally, the doctor took the hookah out of her mouth and blew a large cloud of smoke in Rei's face, which sent her into an intense coughing fit.

"Who are you?" she asked finally.

"Don't you know? I'm Rei Ayanami, Doctor Akagi." Rei answered, rubbing some of the smoke out of her eyes.

"What are you talking about, child?" The blonde woman said in a strict tone, "I have never seen you before and I am certainly not this Doctor Akagi. Now, I will ask you again. Who are you?"

"Then who are you?" Rei asked.

"I asked you first." The woman said. There was an acquired silence between the two of them.

"Alright, I am the Caterpillar." The Caterpillar said after a while, "Now, who are you?"

"To be honest, I'm not really sure anymore. Yesterday, I was sure I was Rei Ayanami, but, after all I've been through today, I don't know anymore, you see." Rei said.

"No, I don't see." The Caterpillar replied.

"The thing is... I have been so many different sizes today. It's all become very confusing."

"It isn't," the Caterpillar returned.

"Well, perhaps you haven't found it so yet," Rei stated, remembering the 'metamorphosis of the butterfly' that she had learned in science class, "but, one day, you will turn into a chrysalis and then, after that, turn into a butterfly. I should think you'll feel it a little strange."

"Not a bit." The Caterpillar paused to inhale a long drag from the pipe.

"Well, maybe if you were in my position, you would feel different about it." Rei countered.

"You," The Caterpillar said, breathing smoke into the girl's face again. "Who are you?" This brought the conversation back to where it started. Rei felt a twinge of exasperation at the insect's very short remarks.

"I think I ought to know a little about you, before I answer questions about myself."

"Why?" the Caterpillar asked, before taking another drag from her pipe.

Knowing she was getting nowhere, Rei turned away from the bug woman and began to walk away.

"Wait, come back." the Caterpillar said, "I have something important to tell you!" Sounding promising, Rei spun on her heel and made her way back to the mushroom.

"Keep your temper." The insect ordered.

"Is that all?" Rei said, trying to swallow her frustration but some of it still tinged her voice.

"No," the Caterpillar replied. There was another long silence as Rei waited for the insect to speak again, watching her puff away on her pipe. Then, the Caterpillar took it out of her mouth and said, "So, you think you're changed again?"

"I think so, ma'am. There are things I used to know that aren't so clear anymore."

"Explain?"

"Certain things. Eva, Second Impact, the Angels, Commander Ikari. I used to be able to understand these things but now…" Rei trailed off, her pale countenance melancholy.

"I see," the Caterpillar murmured to herself thoughtfully, before turning back to the blue-haired girl. "Now, repeat the rhyme 'You Are Old, Father William' for me."

"Why?" Rei asked.

"Don't ask why. Just do it." The bug snapped.

"I don't know it." Rei admitted.

"Very well, then. Let's talk about something you do know." The Caterpillar then went quiet for several seconds before speaking again. "Tell me about this Doctor Akagi."

"Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, she is NERV's technical supervisor for 'Project E'. Her disciplines include physics, biotechnology and computer sciences. Her mother, Doctor Naoki Akagi, developed the Magi organic super computers. Doctor Akagi took over her mother's role when she committed suicide. She is a resident of Tokyo 3 and has a fond liking for cats." Rei said.

"Is that all?" the Caterpillar said in a disapproving tone. "What a disappointment." There was another silence between the two of them.

"So what size do you want to be?" the Caterpillar asked, at last. "Are you content now?"

"Being a little taller would be good. At least, that way the chances of me being stepped on are minimized." Rei said,

"Being three inches high is not an ideal size to be."

"Nonsense, it is a very good height." The Caterpillar snapped, rearing herself to her full height -- about an inch and half taller then Rei.

"Maybe, but I'm not used to it." Rei said as the Caterpillar sat back down.

"Give it time. You'll get used to it." The Caterpillar said, before putting the hookah back into her mouth. It yawned, stretching languidly, and jumped off the mushroom and began to crawl away.

Rei was about to go after her, when the Caterpillar stopped just before an overgrown patch of sickly green grass. The Caterpillar looked over her shoulder and said,

"One side will make you grow taller and the other will make you grow shorter."

"One side of what?" Rei inquired.

"The mushroom." With that, the Caterpillar disappeared into the long grass.

Rei stared at the spot, before turning her attention to the mushroom, trying to figure out which were the two sides the bug was talking about. At last, she broke a piece of the edge off, clasping one in each hand.

_'Now which is which?'_

Nibbling the piece in her right hand, causing her to start shrinking rapidly. She quickly took a bite of the piece in her left, which caused her to grow rapidly.

After an hour, Rei had succeeded in consuming the right amount of the mushroom pieces and she returned to her regular size. It took several minutes for to Rei get used to being her normal size again. She tucked a mushroom piece in each pocket of her apron.

_'That's one half of the plan achieved.'_ She thought to herself as she walked along the forest trail. _'Now to find my way back to that room full of doors.'_ But, once again, she had no real idea of how she was going to accomplish that task.

After walking along for ten minutes, Rei approached a clearing in it was an elegant-looking house of about four feet. She quickly brought the mushroom piece in her right pocket to her mouth and carefully nibbled it. Only when she had shrunk a few inches did she dare to venture closer.

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AN- Hi guys, sorry this has taken a while to upload but I've been on holiday and only got off back about an hour ago, so send me your reviews and tell me if this wasworth the wait. I just have to put the finishing touches to a chapter of anotherficthen I'll get started on the next chapter. Peace. 


	9. Pig & Pepper

AN "Blah"- Normal speech  
_'Blah'_- Thoughts  
_"Blah"_- Lyrics  
_

* * *

_

_Neon Genesis Evangelion  
_Rei Wonderland  
Proof read by Katherine Hockey

Chapter 9: Pig and Pepper  
As Rei approached the house, a footman came running out of the woods and knocked on the door. The sound echoed in the still air, drawing Rei's attention. Somehow, she was not surprised to see that the footman had the oversized head of a fish, and seemed to be breathing just fine out of water. The fish was clad in a very smart navy dress uniform, with a curled, powdered wig upon its head. A few seconds later, the door was opened by another footman. If Rei had been anyone else, she would have groaned. This footman had a frog's head, and was dressed in the same uniform as the fish; heavy dark blue wool adorned with a complicated gold braid, yellow piping and tassels.

Slightly curious as to what was occurring, Rei crept closer to listen, polished ebony shoes quiet against the dew-slick grass.

The fish produced an oversized scroll from under its arm and presented regally it to the frog, almost as careful as if it was a divine summon. "For the Duchess," it announced solemnly, "An invitation from the Queen to come play croquet."

"An invitation from the Queen for the Duchess to come play croquet." The frog footman echoed in the same grave tone. The two bowed deeply to each other until they clashed heads, causing their stiff white-curled wigs to become entangled.

At the sight of the two flailing to come apart, Rei let out a small, soft giggle. She stopped and quickly ducked back into the woods._ 'Did I just laugh?'_ The action confused her greatly, almost to the point of shock. She had never laughed before – she'd never had cause to - and she was not entirely sure why she did just then.

By the time she emerged from the woods, the fish was gone. The frog was lazing idly on the lawn, the very picture of idleness. His vivid green arms were folded behind his head as a makeshift pillow. One leg was bent slightly, the other foot balanced on the opposite knee. His ink-black eyes were focused on the clear blue sky, where fluffy wisps of cloud drifted.

Rei walked past him, timidly approaching the door. Her fingers curled into a timid fist, and she brought them to the thick wood, rapping smarty.

"There's no use in knocking."

Turning to glance over her shoulder, Rei saw that the frog was talking to her. "The first reason's 'cause I'm out here with you. The second, and way more important reason, is that they're making so much noise inside they'll never hear you."

Listening more closely, Rei could hear a great deal of commotion coming from within. She recognized sound of a yelling voice, accompanied by some kind of pained howling and the faint chime of china shattering. "How am I to get in?" She asked.

"There might be some sense in you knocking. If you were inside, I could let you out." The footman replied, still looking intently up at the sky. Rei knew that many people considered it rude when a person did not look at you whilst speaking. However, the frog creature was an amphibian with his eyes on the top of his head, so the rule might not apply, she considered.

"How am I to get in?" she repeated.

"I shall sit here until tomorrow…" Without warning, the front door swung open and a patterned plate came skimming out, gliding straight over the footman's head to shatter against a nearby tree, "or the next day, or maybe longer."

"How am I to get in?" Rei asked for the third time, raising her normally quiet voice. Perhaps he had not heard her…

"How are you to get in at all? That is the first question." the footman replied, shifting on the ground slightly as if to get more comfortable. "I shall sit here, on and off, for day and days."

"What am I to do?" Rei asked, feeling a rare prick of annoyance.

"Anything you like." The footman replied, glancing at her for a moment. He returned his eyes to the sky, whistling the opening notes to an indolent tune.

Realizing that she was getting nowhere with the footman, Rei opened the front door and stepped inside. The door led to a large kitchen. Rei looked about, unable to see much of the interior, vision clouded by the smoke that stretched from one end of the room to the other. Through the oppressive gloom, Rei caught a glimpse of something she had never expected to see.

Sitting on a three-legged stool and nursing a baby was Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki. The usually dignified man was wearing a decorative frock, all bright colors and floral prints. A regale-looking velvet hat, trimmed with peacock plumage, was perched at a jaunty angle over his steel-gray hair. Heavy layers of garish makeup, almost as heavy as that of a kabuki dancer, obscured his face.

The stove behind the former professor held an enormous cauldron, filled to the brim with some kind of bubbling liquid. A few sizzling drops sizzled past, narrowly avoiding the redheaded girl standing behind it. Asuka Langley Sohryu was just managing to avoid a scalding, but she seemed almost oblivious. She was holding a ridiculously oversized pepper grinder, turning it furiously.

A few feet away, Ryoji Kaji sat on a cushion, flashing his habitual grin. His shaggy dark hair crept down to his shoulders as usual, but, for once, it was not bound a rubber band. Cat's ears poked out of his thick locks, and a feline tail flicked lazily in the air behind him. Somehow Rei could not find it in her to be surprised, not even when Mister Kaji began licking at the back of his hand.

Rei sneezed, and reached into a pocket of her apron for a handkerchief. There was way too much pepper in that soup. Hell, there was way too much pepper in the air. She did not seem to be the only one to be affected by this. Even the Sub-Commander sneezed occasionally, and the baby was sneezing and howling alternately, without a moment's pause for breath. The only ones who seemed to be immune were Pilot Sohryu and Agent Kaji.

The blue-haired girl's sneeze, innocuous as it was compared to the rest of the madness, was enough to attract the attention of the others in the room.

"And who might you be?" 'Fuyutsaki' asked in a regal voice.

"I am Rei Ayanami, Sub-Commander Fuyutsaki." Rei replied. "May I ask you are dressed like that, why Pilot Sohryu is at that stove and why Agent Kaji is dressed up like a cat and why he's grinning like that?"

"Sub-Commander? Sub-Commander? I will have you know that I am the Duchess and don't you forget it." The Duchess replied, sounding outraged. "Anyway that girl behind me is merely the cook and, finally, the reason that the cat is grinning like that is because it's a Cheshire cat, pig."

This surprised Rei. In fact, the last word had been said with such violent force it caused her to jump slightly. "I was unaware that cats could grin." She said the moment she managed to compose herself.

"They all can and most do." The Duchess replied as he returned to his seat.

"I am unacquainted with any that do." Rei said to him after a moment.

"You don't know much, do you? And that is a fact." He replied.

Rei was unsure of how to respond to this. As she struggled to think of a response, 'Sohryu' took the cauldron from the fire then went back to throwing everything within reach at the Duchess and the baby, including fire-irons, saucepans, plates, dishes. The Duchess seemed oblivious to all this, even as a copper frying pan hit him in the side of the head. Rei was kneeling on the floor next to the cat, in an effort to keep out of the line of fire. _'This is insane.' _

"If everyone minded their own business the world would turn a great deal faster then it does." The Duchess said, more to himself then anyone in particular.

"I do not see how that would be an advantage," Rei said to him, uncurling somewhat from her nervous spot on the floor. "If the earth revolved any faster on its axis…"

"Speaking of axes," the Duchess said casually, "Chop off her head." Rei's eyes widened in horror. However, 'Sohryu' had gone back to stirring the soup and no one else showed up to take her away. The Duchess went back to nursing the baby, singing it a lullaby. He shook it violently at the end of each line.

_Speak roughly to your little boy's,  
And beat him when he sneezes.  
He only does it to annoy,  
Because he knows it teases_

_He sung the chorus, which 'Sohryu' and the baby seemed to join in with.  
Wow, wow, wow_

_I speak severely to my boy,  
I beat him when he sneezes  
For he can enjoy the pepper  
When he pleases_

_Wow, wow, wow._

The Duchess rose from his stool and tossed the baby to Rei, who was only just able to catch it. "Here you hold him for a while. I must go get ready to play croquet with the queen." He exited the room – just before a plate aimed at his head could hit him. The baby in Rei's arms kept thrashing about, flailing its arms and legs, doubling over and straightening out again, snorting and grunting. For the first minute or two, it was all Rei could do to hold on to it.

After getting the baby to stop thrashing, Rei took it out into the fresh air. "The child will die if I left it in that kitchen with those two – I might as well have murdered the child myself." She said as they made their way out the front door and into the sunshine. The baby grunted in reply. "Do not grunt." She told it, "It is not a polite thing to do." But it only grunted again.

_'Maybe it is sick.'_ Rei thought and looked down at it. The baby had a very turned up nose, much more like a snout. Also its beady black eyes seemed rather small for an infant. "Perhaps it is crying." Looking at the babies face to see if there were any tears, but there weren't any. Frustration began welling up inside Rei. "If you're going to turn into a pig, I'll have nothing more to do with you." The child began sobbing…or grunting. It was difficult to tell which.

'What am I to do with this creature? If I return to Tokyo 3 I sure that Commander Ikari will not approve of it and it would disposed of.' The child grunted again; this time so violently that Rei's attention was caught immediately. What she saw caused her to raise her eyebrows in surprise. It was now pretty clear that the creature she was carrying was, indeed, a pig. Though she wasn't familiar with the feeling, she was feeling quite embarrassed for lugging it all this time.

"Oh…well, maybe it is a good thing that it is a pig." She said to herself as she set it on the grass, watching it scamper towards the forest. "I'm sure if it had grown up it would it would have been a rather unattractive child but it should make a rather good pig."

"I heartily agree with you, dear girl." a rather familiar voice said but, looking around, Rei could see no one. "Why don't you try up here?"

Looking up into the branches of the tree above her, Rei saw Kaji – or rather the Cheshire cat – grinning down at her. Though she had never really spoken to him, Rei was aware of the government agents good nature from overheard conversations (though Major Katsuragi referred to him as a jerk, not that she knew what that meant) but was also aware of his divided loyalties between NERV, the Japanese's government and NERV's parent organisation SEELE. Maybe, just maybe, he might be able to help her. "Agent Kaji, could you tell me the way I should go from here?" She asked, her tone only slightly louder then the one she normally used.

"Well, that depends a great deal on where you are trying to get to." The Cheshire cat replied, his grin becoming broader.

"I am not too concerned about where I go--"

"Then it matters not where you go then." The Cheshire cat interrupted her.

"…as long as I am able to return to the room with all the doors." Rei finished.

"Oh, I'm sure you'll come to it eventually, if you walk for long enough." The Cheshire cat said as it shifted itself so that it was now reclining on the branch.

Rei thought about its answer, trying to find some logic within it. "Of what sort are the people whom dwell here." She asked when she could find none.

"Weeeeell, to the right is the house of the Hatter." The Cheshire cat said, rolling over and using its tail to indicate the directions as he spoke. "To the left is where the March Hair dwells. You may visit either, if you wish. They are both utterly barking mad."

"I would rather speak with someone who isn't mad."

"In that case, I'm afraid you're out of luck." The cat's toothy grin was stretching so wide that it looked rather painful to maintain. "For we are all mad here, everybody! Especially you."

"Me? What makes you think I am mad?" Rei asked, very confused.

"Well, you must be." The cat replied. "If you weren't, you would not be here."

Rei stared at him and could see his point. This made her worry slightly. "What makes you think that you are mad?"

"A dog is not mad. When a dog is mad, it growls and it wags its tail when it not." It said. Rei, however, stared at him blankly. "I however I growl when I am happy and wag my tail when I and angry it is mad utterly ludicrous." Rei may not have known much about cats, but she was fairly sure the growling it was referring to was called purring. "Do you play croquet, dear girl?"

"No." Rei responded.

"Go to the Queen's castle, you shall see me there." The cat said, before it began disappearing until the only thing that was visible was the grin, which remained for some time before disappearing as well. To Rei this was quite a sight. Before coming here, she had never seen a cat with a grin. Now, not only had she seen that; she had now seen a grin without a cat.

She began waking away until she came to a fork in the road with a sign post with Hatter written upon one, whilst the other said Hare. "I suppose I could try the Hare. Maybe it will be slightly less mad then the Hatter." She decided and headed along the left path, keeping towards the middle of the path, occasionally sparing a glance to the woods that surrounded her.

After a while, she came in sight of the house of the March Hare. There were two chimneys on the roof that were shaped like ears; the roof itself was thatched with what looked like fur. Looking at the large building, Rei took some of the mushroom out of her left pocket and nibbled it slightly. She began to shrink, and took small nibbles of it until she was about two feet high, before continuing her journey towards it. While she crossed the clearing to the house, she realized that she was starting to rather regret not going to see the Hatter instead.

* * *

AN. Well finally the new chapter of this story sorry it took so long it was just a thing with a lack of motivation, uni, work and life in genral but I promise this fic will be completed, chap 10 and next chapters of 'Enermy' and (for toughs of you have read my Star Ocean stuff) Reunionare in the works. Please send me your reviews cos I need my fix. Hope y'all had a good Christmas & New Year. Later.


	10. Mad Hatters Tea Party

AN "Blah"- Normal speech  
_'Blah'_- Thoughts  
_"Blah"_- Memories

* * *

_Neon Genesis Evangelion  
_Rei Wonderland  
Proof read by Katherine Hockey

Chapter 10: Mad Hatters Tea Party

Approaching the house, Rei spied a long, narrow table set under a majestic oak tree in the front garden. Eight straight-backed chairs, upholstered in crimson plush, encompassed the linen-draped table. Spread over the embroidered tablecloth was an assortment of mismatched tea caddies: porcelain teacups in every colour, on top of delicate saucers in varying shades of green and pink, hand-blown glass jugs of milk, dainty bowls of sugar, and an oversized teapot in the middle.

Lieutenant Makoto Hyuga sat in a chair, wearing a lime green frock jacket over the top of his bucolic beige uniform. A yellow bowtie with red polka dots was wrapped around his starched collar and the look was completed by a green top hat with In this Style 10/6 written on a piece of card stuck to it. Shigeru Aoba was across from him, in a scarlet smoking jacket and matching Arabian pantaloons, with brown rabbit-like ears poking out of the crown of his long hair. Curled in her sleep at the chair commonly reserved for the patriarch was Maya Ibuki. The image of a frightened animal was reinforced by the mouse's ears on the top of her head and the fuzzy grey-hued tail that poked out of her pleated skirt.

Aoba and Hyuga, sitting to either side of her, kept using her as a cushion or resting their elbows on her whilst talking to each over her head. I don't suppose that's too comfortable for her, Rei considered, then frowned. She's asleep. She probably cannot mind too much. Though it was quite a large table, the three of them had confined themselves to the corner at the head of the table. Rei approached them, perching in an arm chair at the head of the table.

This action, simple as it was, caught their attention.

"No room! No room!" the two men cried.

'Maya' stirred slightly to voice her opinion. "No room!" She flailed her arms a bit, then folded them on the table, drifting back to sleep.

Rei glanced about the table. As when she arrived, there was no one there besides herself and the three lieutenants. "I do not understand," She said softly, falling back on the cool logic that had never failed her, except for in this strange world. "There is no one else here, so there is plenty of room."

"So there is," 'Aoba' conceded after a quick look about. "Have some wine."

Rei was unsure about this – at fourteen years, she was, after all, underage. However, etiquette taught her that it would be rude to refuse. She glanced around at the array of items on the table, but couldn't find the bottle. "I do not see any."

"That is because there isn't any." 'Aoba' replied, causing 'Hyuga' to let out a small laugh.

"If there wasn't any, why did you offer me some? I believe it was a very rude thing for you to do." Rei's voice seemed to be in the usual passive tones; however, if one listened carefully he or she would have caught the slight note of annoyance.

"Well, it was rude of you to sit down without being invited." 'Aoba' replied, a snide note tainting his voice.

"This table is set many more people," Rei argued softly. "I was not aware that I would be intruding."

"Yes, well, your hair is most dull; you really ought to do something with it," said 'Hyuga', who had been staring at Rei with great interest for some time.

Rei's hand went reflexively to the back of her head, a subconscious reflex of all junior high girls. "It really was quite inappropriate for you to make such a remark." She responded, a slight blush now decorating her cheeks.

Hyuga stared at her, his eyes wide. What he said next, however, was far from what Rei had been expecting. "Why is a raven like a writing desk?"

Rei stared at the man. "What did you just say?"

"I said, 'Why is a raven like a writing desk?' Come now, child, it is not that difficult to understand."

"I don't know." Rei replied, discreetly straightening her black bow. "I don't believe there is an answer."

"Do you mean you do not think there is an answer or you know there is no answer?" 'Aoba' piped up. "You should say what you mean."

"I do," Rei protested. "At least, I say what I mean; I believe they are the same thing."

"They are not in the least." 'Hyuga' said seriously. "You might as well say that 'I see what I eat' is the same thing as 'I eat what I see'."

"You might as well say that 'I like what I get' is the same is 'I get what I like'." 'Aoba' added.

Maya's drowsy voice joined the conversation. "You might as well say 'I breathe when I sleep' is the same as 'I sleep when I breathe'." She put in, before dropping off back to sleep again.

"It is the same thing as far as you're concerned." 'Hyuga' said, pouring the jug of milk over 'Maya's' head. This, however, did not disturb the sleeping woman, who merely started to snore. The three of them (four, if one was to count the sleeping Maya) sat in silence for some time.

After what seemed like an eternity, 'Hyuga' broke the silence "What day of the month is it?" He retrieved a pocket watch, painted with gilt, from his jacket, before looking at it and giving it a hard shake and pressing it to Rei's ear. The metal was cool against her skin.

"I believe it is the fourth." Rei replied.

"Two days wrong." 'Hyuga' sighed. He turned to 'Aoba' and waved the watch in his face. "I told you the butter wouldn't work."

"It was the best butter." 'Aoba' replied. "Yes, but some crumbs must have got in as well. You shouldn't have put it in with the bread knife." 'Hyuga' grumbled.

'Aoba' snatched the watch from 'Hyuga', and held it to his ear before dipping it into his cup of tea. He took it out and held it to his ear again. He didn't hear anything, so he dropped it on the table. "Useless." He declared with a sigh.

Rei picked the watch up and stared at it -- instead of having proper numbers on its engraved face, there were the months of the year. "Why does your watch tell you what month it is and not the time?"

"Why shouldn't it?" 'Hyuga' replied. "Does your watch tell you what year it is?"

"I don't have a watch," Rei said. "However, the ones I've seen stay the same."

"Such is the case with mine." 'Hyuga' stated.

Rei decided that it would be best not to ask them questions, unless necessary for fear of her sanity. Or what little was left after all the bizarre events that had happened to her thus far.

'Hyuga' sighed and stole a glance at 'Maya'. "The Dormouse is asleep is asleep again."

'Aoba' poured the contents of his now cold tea over her head.

'Maya' jerked awake. "Yes, yes, yes. I agree completely!" She shook her head rapidly, beads of cold liquid coming loose from her hair. Much like a wet dog would, Rei noted.

'Hyuga' turned to Rei. "Have you figured out the answer yet?"

"To what?" Rei wanted to know.

"To my riddle."

"No, I don't know."

Maya smiled indulgently. "Oh, well; neither do I!" She confessed, and 'Hyuga' nodded.

"Or me." 'Aoba' confided.

Rei furrowed her brow, now more confused than when she had sat down. "Then why have asked me such a question when you know there is no answer? It's a complete waste of time."

To this, 'Hyuga' gave a snort. "If you knew time as well as I do, you would not speak of wasting it. It's him."

"Ah, but maybe she has beat time whilst learning music." 'Aoba' suggested with the air of a learned professor. This almost brought a smile from Rei, thinking of the Lieutenant Aoba she knew.

"That would account for it. He does not like to be beaten." 'Hyuga' explained. "But, if you keep on good terms with him, he would grant you any number of favours with clocks. For instance, it's nine o'clock in the morning and lessons have begun, just whisper a hint to time and round goes the clock, and in a giff, it's half one and dinner time."

"I only wish it was." 'Aoba' muttered to himself under his breath.

Just then a small growl emulated from Rei's stomach, causing her to blush.

"Oh! You hungry, my dear?" 'Hyuga' inquired, not waiting for her to respond before barreling onward. "Well, I'm afraid you'll have to wait, I'm sure you can going till half one."

"Is that how you manage it?"

'Hyuga' shook his head. "Not I. We quarrelled last march, just before he went mad, y'know." He said in a stage whisper, pointing his teaspoon at 'Aoba'. "It was at the Queen of Hearts and I had to sing." He cleared his throat, before launching into song:

Twinkle Twinkle little bat!

How I wonder what your at!

"You know this one one perhaps?"

Rei licked her bottom lip, her small front teeth soon followed. "I believe there is a song similar to it."

"Well, it goes on, y'know. Like this."

Up above the World you fly

Like a tea tray in the sky.

Twinkle, Twinkle...

It was at this that 'Maya' woke up. She began singing sleepily. "Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle, twinkle..." She was quickly silenced when 'Aoba' poured another cup of cold tea over her head.

"Anyway, I had hardly finished the first verse when the Queen cries, 'He's murdering the time, off with his head!'" 'Hyuga' told the azure-haired girl.

"That is unfortunate." Rei replied, trying to muster up some sympathy.

"And from then on he won't do a thing I ask. Its always six o'clock now." 'Hyuga' slumped back helplessly in his uncomfortable, straight-backed chair.

The quartet lapsed into silence, 'Hyuga' and 'Aoba' glaring at each other. 'Maya' went back to sleep. Rei sat there and stared at the group, before breaking the silence. "If there are only three of you, why are there so many tea things?"

"Weren't you listening?" 'Hyuga' snapped. "It's now always six o'clock, always tea time and we have no time to wash up between whiles."

"So you three just keep changing seats?"

"Exactly, as things get used up."

"But what will happen when you return to where you started?"

'Hyuga' and 'Aoba' looked at each other in confusion. It seemed to Rei as if they had never considered the idea.

"I don't like this conversation anymore." 'Aoba' said abruptly.

"Yes, let's change the subject. I vote that she tell us a story." 'Hyuga' pointed at Rei, then looked at her. "On second thought, no. She looks dull. Wake the Dormouse; she'll tell us one." The two of them began shaking 'Maya' until she stirred.

"Now tell us a story and be quick about it or you'll fall asleep again." 'Aoba' said strictly.

"Alright, erm, once upon a time, there were three sisters." 'Maya' began, voice coming in a harried rush. "And they all lived at the bottom of a well..."

"Why?" Rei interrupted.

"Why what?" 'Aoba' said.

"Why where they living in a well?" Rei asked.

"Because their mean father threw them down it when they were little." 'Maya' replied.

"What did they live on?" Rei asked. "There can't be a lot to eat living in a well."

'Maya' pondered for a moment. "Treacle," she proclaimed, with the air of a victor. "They lived on treacle."

"I imagine they would have been very ill." Rei murmured.

"So they were, very ill."

"Have some more tea." 'Aoba' said, placing a cup in front of Rei.

"I haven't had any yet, so it wouldn't be possible for me to have any more." Rei replied sensibly.

"Nonsense. You mean you can't take less; it's very easy to take more." 'Hyuga' said as he set a plate of bread and butter in front of her.

Rei wasn't sure how to respond. However, the situation was taken out of her hands when her stomach gave a small growl. Taking a piece of bread, she began to eat.

'Maya' began her story anew. "Anyway, the three of them lived at the bottom of a treacle well."

"I do believe there is no such thing." Rei said, before taking another bite from her piece of bread.

"Shhh." 'Hyuga' and 'Aoba' pressed a finger to their lips, motioning for her to be quiet.

"Anyhow, at the same time, the sisters were learning to draw..." 'Maya' said before Rei interrupted her again.

"What did they draw?"

"Treacle." 'Maya' replied without a moment's hesitation.

"I do not understand. Where did they draw the treacle from?" Rei asked.

"Well, if you can draw water from a water well, logically you can draw treacle from a treacle well." 'Hyuga' said with 'Aoba' nodding in agreement.

"But if they were already in the well..." Rei began, before 'Maya' cut her off.

"Of course they were, well in."

Poor Rei was now more confused then ever but, rather then interrupt again, she let 'Maya' continue in hopes that her story would begin to make some sort of sense.

'Maya' yawned and rubbed her eyelids, feeling very sleepy. "And so, the three of them were learning to draw and they did all manner of things all beginning with M such as mouse-traps, the moon, and memory and muchness. You know you say things are 'much of a muchness' and did you ever see such a thing as a drawing of a muchness?" 'Maya's' eyelids dropped closed, but however much 'Hyuga' and 'Aoba' shook her, they could not rouse her.

Whilst this was going on, Rei decided that she had outstayed her welcome – not that she had felt very welcome to begin with. She quickly finished her bread and tea, and got up from her chair and walked away. She stole a glance back, only to see that 'Hyuga' and 'Aoba' were dunking 'Maya's' head into the giant teapot. After that, she quickened her pace until she was a good distance into the forest. After walking for nearly ten minutes, the blue-haired girl came across a tree. It appeared that there was a door carved into the trunk. However, taken into account all she had endured today, Rei was not in the least surprised. She took a hold of the door handle, and made her way through it.

AN Finally Chapter 10's ready I know, I know its been a "while" since I uploaded anything. I could tell you I've been really busy but it would be a complete load, I just really couldn't be asked to anything I have done some work but its progressing at a painfully slow pase. Anyway chapter 10 is finally here which brings this story into the home stretch, I hope to get this finished by the end of the year. Enjoy the summer and till next time, Peace.


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